In my line of work, conference planning, traveling is inevitable. As a breastfeeding mom I’ve opted to travel for work with the kids. Due to the pandemic many of my events converted to virtual meetings, so I haven’t had to worry as much about traveling until recently. Now that the world is opening up to this new normal, traveling for work is an expectation again. So I’m back to considering whether or not to bring the kids on trips with me.
I’m blessed to work for a company now that is flexible and willing to let me bring the baby on my work trips, as long as I have another set of hands to take care of the baby while I’m working. (Always get approval from your boss or HR before bringing the family). I’ve done it a few times now, so I can tell you from experience that it’s not easy but it’s possible. I have a few tips to help get you through it.
Before I got married the idea of traveling for work was an awesome perk and an adventure. Now as a mom, my first thought when a trip comes up is the kids and how we’ll meet all of the needs while I am away. So Ned and I evaluate our options and with at least one option that considers if it’s possible to bring the kids along.
Should I consider traveling for work with the kids?
Bringing the kids is enticing. It avoids the heartbreak of leaving them for any extended period of time (for reference, my trips are usually 5-6 days). It avoids the problem of how to get the kids to daycare when Ned leaves for work earlier than before-school care opens. You don’t have to worry about how to store or ship your breastmilk home so the baby can drink it. Also, you don’t have to worry about building up a stash (because meeting the current need is hard enough).
On the other hand, business trips are not leisure trips. Your schedule may be less predictable, potentially with longer hours than a regular work day. You will still need someone to care for the baby while you are working. Plus, the amount of luggage and gear you might need could feel a little like you’re moving. It’s stressful.
Consider where you will breastfeed the baby and how you will coordinate this with the other caregiver. Will you have a private space available or will you be breastfeeding in a more public space and are you comfortable with those options? Remember, babies are notorious for not cooperating under pressure. Also, consider if pumping, like you would in the office, may be better and then having the caregiver feed the baby a bottle.
Also, consider the idea that it’s ok to travel for work without the baby. Use the time to focus on your work and any extra time on taking care of yourself. I know that the idea of leaving your baby for any amount of time might be hard to fathom, but you would get through it. As long as you leave the kids with people you trust, they will be okay.
The First Time I Brought Annie On a Work Trip
Annie was three months old the first time I brought her on a work trip. She was still breastfeeding so Ned and Annie went with me to Florida. The flight was surprisingly easy! I fed her as the plane took off and she slept in my arms more than half the flight.
Once we were at the meeting our strategy was simple. Since it was a hotel conference center Ned would ‘work-from-home” from the hotel room and be with Annie. Then when she was hungry he’d text me and I’d come back to the room to feed her. It turned out that it wasn’t as simple as we had expected.
First of all, the timing of the texts were usually less than convenient for my work at the conference. He’d text and inevitably the AV signal would be lost, or a faculty member would be late or slides would be missing. Conferences are high demand, but so are hungry three months olds. As fast as I could I would run back to the hotel room to feed Annie who was usually screaming. Meanwhile, Ned looked like he was going to pull his hair out because the internet wasn’t strong enough to do the work he needed to do, even if Annie wasn’t crying.
Then at the end of the day there was no time for us to get out as a family. My hours were long, and Ned needed to make up for lost work from when he was caring for Annie and dealing with internet issues.
It was one of the most stressful weeks of my life, but being able to see Annie and Ned at the end of the day, even for a short time, made it worth it. Although I wouldn’t do that same thing again.
My First Work Trip with Two Kids
Fast forward two years, to the 2022 version of the same meeting. Now we have two kids and the idea of traveling for work is even less appealing than before. Nevertheless, Ace was still breastfeeding so we were faced with the same question—whether or not traveling for work with the kids was a good idea.
This time Ned took time off of work, so that eliminated one of the stressors. It gave him more control over the kids since he could move around and leave the room.
We also tried to plan ahead a little better, anticipating when Ace would need to eat rather than waiting until he was telling us. Then Ned and I would alternate: first I would meet them in the room, then he would come down to the conference room I was in and I’d feed Ace in the hall around the corner. Honestly, the feeding temperament of each kid made a big difference too. Annie was not a great breastfeeder and it would usually take an hour for the whole process with her. Whereas, Ace is a strong breastfeeder and could easily get what he needed in half the time or less. To be fair, Ace was six months old at the time, while Annie was three months – age may have played a factor, but knowing each kid I’m not sure it would have made a difference if Annie had been older.
Tip #1: Bring someone with you.
Without my awesome husband traveling for work with the kids would not have been possible. We even considered bringing my mom with us too. Man-to-man coverage is the most effective strategy with two kids. I’m not sure what we’ll do when we have more kids someday, but if they are a handful at home, being away from home is even more so.
Some hotels offer on-site daycare depending on the age. That may be an option if the hours and availability all align.
Tip #2: Be strategic about what gear you bring.
With two kids it feels a little like moving when we pack for a trip. All of the gear, toys, books, clothes, etc. I mean their clothes are tiny, but we have to bring so many in case of accidents that they fill the suitcase quickly. If you have the option, rent the car seat or book a taxi in advance that offers one. We tried to book the taxi with a car seat for Annie so we would only need to bring the seat for Ace, but they were out of the toddler seats. So we ended up bringing Annie’s carseat too, just for the taxi ride to and from the hotel to the airport. Luckily we had a travel case for it already.
We did get away with not bringing the pack in play. I called the hotel and they were able to provide a crib for Ace to sleep in at no charge. I do recommend bringing extra blankets and/ or your own sheets. The air from the vent was blowing directly on the crib, and there wasn’t much room to move it. So I draped an extra blanket over the edge to block the draft. We had his sleep sack, but still needed the extra protection. And the bed was hard, and new to him so he had trouble sleeping. So I took one of the other extra blankets and wrapped it tightly around the mattress to make it a little more homey. Just like that he started sleeping better.
Tip #3: When nap time fails you, the stroller is your friend.
This one was Ned’s tip. Usually Annie is a pretty awesome sleeper at home. She takes a solid 2 hour nap in the afternoon when we’re at home. Ace on the other hand is a snuggler and wants to be held throughout the entirety of his naps. When it comes to vacation though, the adrenaline of the new experiences make naps hard. Ned quickly learned that if he put the kids in the stroller and walked them around the hotel at nap time, they would both sleep at the same time. Added bonus, he got his 10,000 steps per day in.
Tip #4: Tell the people who need to know, don’t worry about the rest.
Breastfeeding in general draws attention. When traveling for work with the kids someone may say something or shoot over a glaring look. Sometimes people are uncomfortable with breastfeeding or they just don’t understand. My advice to get through that when traveling for work with kids is to tell the people who need to know. They can advocate for you, cover for you when you’re away feeding the baby, and protect you from commentary. Anyone else you can ignore. Responding to the negativity may not look or feel good. Mama bear is just feeding her cub, but in this scenario remember to be professional.
Tip #5: Practice breastfeeding in public.
I’m not just saying this for you, but also for your baby. Whether you use a cover or not, breastfeeding in public is a different game than in the comfort of your nursery. Both of you will need a chance to get used to it, to make the process as comfortable as possible when you are traveling. When you are on a trip, your baby’s schedule will be off and they may need to eat at inopportune times. You may not have time to find a private space like an open room or mothers lounge. So be ready.
Tip #6: Pick up supplies when you get there.
Walmarts and grocery stores are pretty common and you don’t have to look far to find one. Make a stop at one when you arrive to pick up things like snacks or diapers that you might need. Hotels will often have these things too, but if you’re cost conscious like we are then consider that the cost will be less somewhere other than the hotel.
Alternatively, if you have the opportunity, you may also consider shipping things like a pack of diapers or non-perishable snacks instead of trying to carry that in your suitcase since they take up so much room.
Tip #7: When flying, feed the baby at take off and landing.
Just like sucking on a candy or swallowing helps adults clear their ears when the pressure builds during take off and landing, a baby can relieve that pressure too. Unfortunately they are not equipped with the experience and the knowledge to know what to do. So you may need to help them by offering the boob during times.
Both Annie and Ace were awesome flyers as babies. I’d nurse them at take off and they slept for a little more than an hour each time. It started to get more challenging when Annie was mobile. Flying was really hard when she was potty training, but that’s a different story.
Tip #8: Read Work. Pump. Repeat. By Jessica Shortall
I read this book, Work. Pump. Repeat, right before going back to work with Annie and I’ve gone back to it several times for tips on pumping, creating a stash, and traveling. Chapter 13 is all about traveling with the baby and it’s so helpful. Seriously, this book is a must read for any working mom who is pumping.
Traveling for work with the kids is not going to be an easy dream vacation, but with some planning everyone will get through it and hopefully enjoy it at least a little. You’re doing great.
Do you have any other tips for traveling for work with the kids? Share your ideas in the comments.
