Throughout this pregnancy I did a lot more preparation toward my goal of an unmedicated birth than I did the first time around. I read books (Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth and Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way), watched positive unmedicated birth stories on YouTube, researched as much as I could, drank the raspberry leaf tea (after 36 weeks and with permission from my doctor), practiced prenatal yoga, increased my water intake, and even watched a few free courses from the hospital and that I found online. I would have done more in person education, but Covid limited my options. A friend of mine asked why I was doing all this prep since I’d already experienced labor before. I told her that my goal was an unmedicated birth, and I just thought I could do it better and wanted to make sure I was prepared.
I really enjoyed watching the birth stories. They were a good reminder of what I went through with Annie. Seeing how other women coped with their unmedicated births helped me prepare mentally. Positivity was key. So I wanted to share my birth story too to encourage anyone considering an unmedicated birth.
Ace is now eight weeks old and growing like a weed. He eats constantly and has the cutest little faces to tell us how he’s feeling. He’s starting to smile, and he sticks out his bottom lip when he’s getting ready to cry. Over the last couple weeks, I’ve spent some time reflecting on his birth. It was so different from Annie’s birth, but still not exactly what I had planned. Even so, I’m overjoyed to have Ace here and proud of myself for getting him out safely.
A Little Background
My experience with Annie’s birth taught me a lot. There were a few takeaways that I thoughtfully considered with my husband and doctor while planning for labor the second time around. Things like how to advocate for myself better with the nurses, the need to move around more in the hospital room, setting a goal to have a fully unmedicated birth, and how often to do cervical checks. Of course, my goal was to have a healthy baby, so we left room within the plan for flexibility if needed.
I ended up with a fever during labor with Annie. When that happens, the hospital has a very strict policy to protect mom and baby. As a precaution, the nurses take the baby to the NICU to start antibiotics and run tests. And mom must be fever free for 24 hours before seeing the baby. No exceptions. Of course, the baby’s safety was my main concern, but the experience of not being with her was still very traumatic for me. She was in the NICU for four days, despite all negative tests and I really think it impacted her entire first year, especially with breastfeeding.
Luckily, we were both fine, but we never determined the cause of the fever. So, in planning for our second baby I wanted to try things a little differently to protect myself and the baby from anything that might cause a fever. My goal was to avoid an epidural, the IV, and cervical checks.
Anyway, that’s a little background to why we made a few decisions when we were in labor in the hospital. Now, here’s the play-by-play leading up to the birth of our son.
40 Weeks, 0 Days
2:30 PM – The Appointment
For my 40-week appointment the doctor had me on the Non-Stress Test (NST) machine. When she reviewed the report and said there was some regular activity, but it appeared to be more of an “irritation” rather than a full-blown contraction.
Next, she did the cervical check and to our surprise I was 5 cm dilated. Because of my history with the fever in my previous pregnancy, she didn’t want me to sit long with that much dilation, so she wanted to start talking about an induction. Meanwhile she’s still checking the position of the baby with her hand all up in there and she changed her tune. She said, “Actually your water just broke so we’re doing this today.”
Amniotic fluid covered the top of the exam table, down the step, in every nook and cranny and across the floor spreading almost all the way to the sink. I don’t remember that much water when it broke with Annie. The exam room turned into a slip and slide. It took the doctor, 5 nurses, and I have no idea how many towels to clean up the exam room and get the appointment settled back to a place we could discuss next steps.
Honestly, it was nice to have my water break at the appointment. Most importantly, I still had the monitor on, so we knew he was tolerating it well. It also saved me from having to do the clean-up myself. I can’t imagine trying to dry out the couch from that much fluid, and in the covid era those paper towels are like gold. Plus I didn’t have to think about the color, amount, smell, all those things to tell the doctor. She already knew and was going to let the on-call doctor know I was on my way.
3:00 PM – The Pick Up
The doctor understandably had a sense of urgency not knowing how quickly the baby would come. But considering I was still not having any noticeable contractions, rushing to the hospital felt a little unnecessary to me. I was nervous that if I got to the hospital too soon they’d jump right to wanting me to go on Pitocin, which I had heard makes the contractions worse. Since I wanted an unmedicated birth, especially no epidural, the idea of possibly making the contractions worse was less than appealing. So, I called my husband to come pick me up. When he picked me up, I told him to drive slowly and asked him to stop at McDonalds for an apple pie and a coke.
4:30 PM – Checking in at the Hospital
We checked in at the hospital and sat in the hallway of labor and delivery waiting for a little bit. I don’t know what they were waiting on, other than it just being a busy maternity ward right before a holiday. It took my water having another big leak all over the chair and the floor to get a room.
The nurses were so great! I told them I wanted to pass on the epidural, and they were so supportive. Since I wasn’t doing the epidural, they said I didn’t have to have an IV at that point, so they just put the port in. They brought me ice and a birthing ball to bounce on and talked to me about strategies to get the baby to move down. They were truly wonderful!
5:30 PM – My Push Back
The resident physician came into our room to check on our progress. She said I was 7 cm dilated, but that baby still had a way to go to move down into position. Since I was still not having noticeable contractions, she suggested starting Pitocin. That is exactly what I feared would happen as soon as we got to the hospital and why I was not in a rush to get there. She didn’t even really give us a chance to progress in the hospital before making the suggestion. To me it felt like she was trying to rush it. So I declined the Pitocin and requested that we revisit in a couple hours.
I’m honestly glad I pushed back on this at that time. When your water breaks, I know there’s a “clock” or a goal to have the baby within 18-24 hours to avoid infection. But we were still only on hour 3 and there were no signs of distress, so I didn’t see the need to start artificially jumpstart the contractions. She said she would send the doctor in, but agreed that it would be okay to re-evaluate in a few hours. So, she left and I bounced on the ball trying to help the baby find the light.
7:30 PM – Checking In
The resident came back to check us again. Still no progress and no noticible contractions. Again, she suggested starting Pitocin. I still hadn’t seen our doctor yet though and since I knew the doctor and didn’t know this resident, I requested to talk to the doctor before making any decisions.
8:00 PM – Hearing Them Out
Our doctor finally came in. I expressed my worry that Pitocin would make the contractions unbearable and lead to an epidural. She understood my concern and explained that Pitocin would help generate some progress which would help to avoid infection by helping the baby out. Ultimately, we decided to take the doctor’s advice and start the lowest possible dose of Pitocin.
Our awesome nurse stayed with us after the doctor left. She reminded me that it doesn’t have to mean epidural. We could still bounce on the ball and move around. She said she would help with pain management strategies as needed. We proceeded with the plan, and moved to the new plan of an almost unmedicated birth. I tried my best to refocus back on getting the baby to move into position rather than worrying about Pitocin.
8:15 PM – Unmedicated Birth Turned Medicated
Pitocin started, followed almost immediately by noticeable contractions. Not terrible but growing quickly in intensity. Within a few minutes I really needed to focus on the contraction to stay relaxed. The nurse stayed in our room with us for a little bit and started getting the station ready for the baby.
8:45 PM – Alone At Last
Before the nurse left, she reminded us how to use the call button and she told me that if I started feeling any rectal pressure that would be a sign of pushing and to give her a call.
Ned and I were alone in the room for the first time in a while. We had the tv on, I think, but I wasn’t watching it and I couldn’t tell you what was on. We had been talking about stocks and investing, but that topic was no longer something I could think through logically. I was very focused on the quickly intensifying pressure with each contraction. Instead of attempting to predict the markets, I was trying to picture what was happening internally and remember that each contraction is one closer to seeing our baby.
Maybe one or two contractions after the nurse left, I could tell that the pressure was changing. I was feeling pressure, but more in the front. I would not describe it as rectal like she described. This went on for a couple contractions. I remember feeling confused since she said rectal and it wasn’t, I thought that just might be how the contractions felt due to the Pitocin. We decided to call the nurse back in to ask her.
8:55 PM – Pressure Building
Our nurse returned and I described what I was feeling and that the sensation was more in the front, but definitely felt like I was pushing. She said she’d call the resident to come in and check us. At this point the pressure and contractions were so strong I’d started to lose focus. I tensed up during the contractions rather than relaxing. They felt urgent.
As the nurse was talking to the resident the pressure shifted to the rectal area, I was pushing and unable to control it. I explained to the nurse that the pressure shifted, but I was still confused if it was time to push or if this is contractions on Pitocin. I remember telling her that if this isn’t pushing then we should call for the epidural, because I wouldn’t be able to bear that feeling for very long. She said the resident (a different resident) was on his way and we’d see what he said. I basically demanded she should call the anesthesiologist now just in case since we knew that it could take a while to get to us once called. Honestly, I have no idea if she actually called for the epidural.
9:00 PM – Ready to Push
The resident came in and helped my husband move me from the ball to the bed to perform the check. Having to climb up into the bed was so hard and laying down made everything so much worse. He confirmed that we were at 10 cm and ready to push.
Suddenly the room felt very busy as it filled with lots of people. Maybe nurses…not sure who any of them were. The resident called for the doctor, but I wasn’t waiting for her. I was going with the flow of my body, which meant pushing with or without her. Things were moving so quickly, I actually thought the resident would be delivering our baby.
Just in time, the doctor came in and directed me where to put my feet and how to push more effectively. But despite her direction, my body was doing its own thing to get the baby out. I really tried to maintain self control. I remember yell-grunting “Somebody help me!” and then answering myself “They are helping.” That struck me and for a split second helped me relax. This was very different than when I had Annie. It felt more chaotic this time and like I was less able to control the pushing. On the other hand, this time was so much faster.
9:14 PM – He’s Here!
Ace was born. He is perfect. The pressure relieved immediately, and the memory of the pressure vanished. They gave him right to me and anything that was going on in the room was outside of me. This perfect little baby boy was mesmerizing and nothing else mattered.
So that’s the story of the almost unmedicated birth of our son. We spent the rest of the night feeding him, snuggling him, and adoring him. It was the perfect end to the day and the pregnancy.
