I’m not sure how, but I almost forgot I’m responsible for potty training our two year old. There really should be a manual of when parents need to teach their kids certain things. It seems to me that there is a sequence of events that should occur, but it never crossed my mind. Annie was born and I blinked and all of the sudden she’s two and I’m looking for potty training tips.
Oh Crap! Potty Training
A few months ago I was reading through posts on a local mom’s facebook group and someone was asking about potty training. It’s a topic that came up pretty regularly, often with great comments on strategies and experiences. People were always recommending the “It was surprisingly witty and entertaining for a book about peeing and pooping. I quickly learned that I had no idea how to potty train and this book was written for me. It’s as if she’d been in my house. She pointed out things I was doing wrong already like having the potty chair out. Jamie knew without even meeting me that the reason we had told ourselves we were putting out the potty was so Annie could “get used to it.” She even knew that in reality we were actually hoping our kid would be the prodigy that potty trained herself. I was hooked, but also feeling a little behind.
Disclaimer
Look, I’m no expert on potty training. There are so many methods out there promising that your kid will be potty trained by Monday. I make no such promise, but I did read the I also want to point out that in addition to reading the book, I joined the facebook group. The group helped me realize that Jamie is a professional and the book is the system that works for her in that capacity. But for someone who is not a professional, some adaptations can be made.
For example, she says it’s best to night train at the same time as day training. The logic in the section made sense and I was on board until Day One when Annie was in tears on the potty clinging to me while she pooped. I couldn’t imagine waking her up in the middle of the night to hold her screaming over a potty. So, we nap trained, but decided for our family night time diapers would be ok for a little while longer. And it didn’t derail the potty training process. The facebook group really helped me feel justified in that decision as I read other peoples similar experiences. Moving on.
Potty Training Timing
In the book, Jamie’s suggested window of opportunity to potty train is between 20 and 30 months. Annie is right in that window at 26 months, so I panicked a little.
One of the reasons I hadn’t even started considering potty training is that Annie still didn’t use many verbal words. I was hoping her language would develop a little more before teaching such a big skill so she could verbalize when she needed to go.
The other reason was that Annie was still in a crib with rails. We’d talked about moving her into a toddler bed so Ace could take over the crib. Ace wasn’t ready to share a room though and she wasn’t trying to escape, so we weren’t in a hurry.
Excuses. Excuses.
Signs of Readiness
Seeing the signs of readiness in Annie were the keys to our success. She wasn’t actively moving to a corner or singing simple songs from memory. She’s also still pretty limited verbally. So I looked for other signs. A few examples:
She knows where to put things like her toys when cleaning up. She also knows where to find the rice crispy treats. When she wants one she will go there, get one, and bring it to me to open. So I know I can tell her that pee and poop goes in the potty and she’ll understand that it has a place that is not a diaper.
She can follow multi-step directions like, “Go find your sippy cup and put it at your place on the table.”
While she does not often say in words what she wants, she can definitely communicate exactly what she wants. She wanted to watch Go Buster on Netflix so she used her hands to mimic the steering wheel on a bus and pointed to the tv. To me that was pretty sophisticated communication for someone who doesn’t use words. At that point I knew she’d find a way to communicate her need to go to the bathroom too.
The suggestion of potty training between 20 and 30 months does make sense to me though. I can tell that Annie is starting to put together the idea that she is her own person with choices, which is great. Knowing her though, if we waited much longer to potty train she would definitely use that independence against us. I think we got lucky and hit the potty training sweet spot with her.
Choosing the Date
Christmas break was going to be the best option to start since I wanted as much uninterrupted time as possible to dedicate to the process. We started the day after Christmas (to avoid conflicts with having guests over and allow some of the excitement to die down). I even sent Ace to daycare on Monday after Christmas so I could really focus on Annie.
Preparation
Aside from the fact that I had to mentally prepare because I felt like I was losing my baby to toddlerhood, I also had to do a few other things.
First, we put the potty that had been sitting out deep into the back of the closet to make its grand debut on Day One.
I also realized that I had forgotten to teach Annie the basics of getting herself ready like being able to push her pants down and pull them back up. I put the book down and told Annie we were having a pants pushing party. We closed all the blinds and Annie and I practiced moving our pants up and down. She thought it was funny, but the actual skill needed more practice. I wish I had started that earlier.
We also wanted to have her in a toddler bed before potty training since I had originally planned to night train at the same time. So we ordered the toddler bed, set it up and got her settled into it, which went surprisingly well. I was prepared for her to get in and out of it all night and to have trouble settling down, but she made the transition like a champ! She didn’t get out of bed even once, and she goes right to sleep every night — another sign that she was ready to potty train. Although, after joining the facebook group I realized there are tons of parents out there potty training kids in cribs, so I may have put too much pressure on this, but it worked out ok.
Our Process
The Day 1 – Naked Day
We started with Annie totally naked. When we woke her up we explained that today was the day we’d be getting rid of the diapers (we’d mentioned this a few times in the days leading up to it) and that meant she was now a big girl who pees and poops in the Our goal was to catch her in the act the first time and move her to the potty. We loaded her up on drinks trying to fill her tank. This initial wait felt like forever. She held it in for a long time, which I took as a good sign since she could hold it. Eventually we saw her doing a little dance, then it all started. We called out to her “Annie, please hold it.” We picked her up and moved her onto the potty where she peed a little more, but no more poop. She was in tears. I think she thought she would be in trouble for the poop on the floor. She also wasn’t sure how to release while on the potty, and that was physically and emotionally hard for her. For the first three days she cried and shook, so I would just hug her while she pooped. At one point I asked my husband if I was providing support or holding her down. Peeing was an easier adjustment. Nap time came and I had a choice to make — diaper or no diaper. Especially on day one, I didn’t want her to think she could hold it until nap time when a diaper would be put on. Plus I didn’t want the daycares to be putting her in a pull up just for naps. So I decided to go with no diaper and see how it went. I had her nap on an Annie did really great for the first day, but she cried and wanted to be held almost every time she sat on the potty. It was exhausting for both of us so I just wanted to let her sleep rather than getting her up to night train. Plus, I’m already up with Ace several times a night. Adding more times getting up to help Annie go potty would be too much for me. So, I decided not to worry about night training for now and let that happen naturally over time. I decided to have Annie start off the day naked again. She did well on day one, but I was glad we started naked for another day. She needed the reminder of what we were doing. The morning was pretty similar to the day before. She held it, held it, held it and then she did start to tell me she needed to go, but didn’t make it in time. So there was a little poop trail through her toys and on her books to clean up. After another dry nap, I decided to put a shirt on her, but no bottom. Working up to a full outfit. We started with a shirt and no bottoms. Again it seemed like she needed to be reminded about her new skills in the morning, but by evening she really seemed tp have a handle on it. She did have an accident during nap time, of course not on the pee pad. We cleaned up the mess and then did a few more hours without bottoms, but she was really getting the hang of it now. There were far fewer tears on the potty. So later in the day we added pants commando style – no underwear. The rest of our holiday vacation Annie wore pants commando style. I would say it really clicked for her on day 4. That’s when she consistently told us she needed to go without any prompting and, knock on wood, we haven’t had any accidents since then. We got out of the house a few times. We went to my in-laws one night and brought the potty with us. On a rainy day, we went to Bell Works for a change of scenery and she actually used the bathroom there to pee. Annie goes to two different daycare settings throughout the week so I was really nervous about how those settings would work with what we were doing at home. A few weeks before we started I went to both daycares and told them I was planning to start potty training and asked if they had any specific policies or potty training tips we should know about before starting. Neither did. The corporate day care said they typically just ask the kids to go every half hour or so. The home daycare shared some other experiences with kids she’d had in the past and was open to anything we wanted to do. I love the individual approach that the home daycare offers. She’s wonderful! After the break, I was pretty matter of fact with the daycares. “This is what we did. It’s going awesome! No more diapers under any circumstances. Here are the signs to look for.” And Annie did great at daycare. I brought in extra clothes and underwear for her, but she was accident free all week. For potty training in the house: For the times you’re out and about: So there you have it. That’s the story of how we potty trained our two year old. I hope you found a few potty training tips from our experience. I’m proud of Annie, but I’m also proud of myself for getting through it. The first couple days I definitely questioned if we were ready, and almost gave up. But I knew I had 8 full days so I powered on and I’m so glad we did. Now let’s see if I can do it again with Ace in a year or two. Share your potty training stories in the comments below. Or if you have any questions on our process let me know there too! Cheers!Nap & Night Training
Day 2 – Naked then Shirt Only
Day 3 – Shirt Only then Commando
Days 4 through 8 – Commando
Daycare
My Favorite Parts About Potty Training
Potty Training Tips and Materials
